What do you do after after a rough day? Do you talk on the phone, vent to a friend or significant other, grab a drink, sit quietly in a chair staring out the window? The way in which we process challenges has a great effect on the people we share our lives with. The compassion factor plays heavily in situations where one or both partners have had a rough day. The partner who takes the lead in soothing the others concerns can give way to a more relaxed environment and establish security and trust.
Next time both of you have had the day from hell and both don’t want to be bothered or one wants to talk and the other doesn’t. Try your best to allow time for both options, even if it is only 10 minutes each. This short amount of time will allow both parties the ability to exercise their personal retreat strategy without a drastic compromise to the relationship maintenance requirements. Yes I said relationship maintenance because if you are going to be with someone, you have committed to caring about the shared world that you both inhabit and if you want that world to grow and flourish you must put in the work and care.
So the goal here is to establish an unselfish allotment where both parties are allowed to freely express their emotions in a supportive and liberating space shared by only both partners. There is nothing greater than sharing your deepest emotions with someone who will keep it between the two of you FOREVER.
Great relationships enjoy an almost secret society trust in that both parties relate to one another and it involves care, concern, unselfishness, compassion, respect and safety. Don’t be afraid to require those traits from your mate because if you don’t your relationship and ultimately your shared world will become a very lonely and barren place.


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